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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
THE man, convicted last week of having sex with a goat, says that since the arrest, he has “been getting a lot of stick” from his mates.

Well you would, wouldn’t you. I mean, if a friend of mine were to be caught in an allotment up to his wedding vegetables in the back of Billy Goat Gruff, I’d certainly bring the topic up from time to time.

In fact, I’m trying hard to think of anything, anything at all, which is more embarrassing for a man. But it’s hopeless. I’ve been to the far horizon of my mind and there’s nothing.

Well one thing.

Being caught in an MG.

They are, I’m sure, perfectly nice little cars in the same way that skirts are perfectly nice items of clothing. But only if you’re a girl.

A man in an MG is as daft as a man in a tiara.

Back in the days when the world was black and white and everyone walked fast, MGs were very manly indeed.

They were the car of choice for Squadron Leaders, the car you drove after you’d shot down a couple of Hun in your Spit.

But at some point in the early Eighties everything changed.
Maybe it was a feminism thing. Women moved in on the ultimate symbol of manliness. Or maybe it was because the cars themselves became crap

But whatever, the MG became a girls’ car. I tested the MGF when it was first launched seven years ago and I recall vividly thinking that it was pretty good.

The VVC model in particular was fast, it looked good, it handled quite well and thanks to hydragas suspension it was as comfortable as a day bed in the sun. It was also well priced.

But it was still irredeemably girly. Anthea Turner had one and that sort of says it all.

I therefore concluded that anyone with an Adam’s apple would buy a TVR or a Lotus or a Mazda MX5 or a table leg or any damn thing just so long as it wasn’t that skirt in metal — the MGF.

But now the new owners at MG Rover have driven a sewing machine up the front of the skirt and turned it into a pair of trousers.

Welcome to the MG TF — a car that’s as blokey as a rugby prop forward. The hydragas suspension has been ripped out and replaced with a more traditional set up.

And the rubber bushes which isolated the cabin from the road are gone too, so that now everything is sharper, harder, more raw.

They’ve turned Celine Dion into the Clash.

They’ve even managed to eke a bit more grunt from the engines. The VVC now churns out 160 brake horse power and that’s enough to get the car from 0 to 60 in less than seven seconds.

Most importantly of all though, they’ve butched up the exterior a bit.

The front has the look of a kamikaze pilot, the sills are beefier and there’s now a big rear spoiler.

I particularly like the gun metal, super-light wheels.

I took it for a half-day thrash on some of my favourite roads and can report that it’s a blast.

The steering is fast but not so fast you have to drive with your heart in your mouth. Rear end breakaway is smooth and the anti-lock brakes are terrific.

Best of all though is the price. Just £15,750 for the 1.6 and only £19,995 for the VVC.

But all is not sweetness and light. The seats are still far too high and, according to Rover, can’t be changed because that would have meant doing crash tests all over again — something they can’t afford.

They did say, however, that if you buy an MG, they will fit lower seats as an after-market accessory.

For free? I doubt it.

Pity. I liked this car a lot.

I liked the way it looks. I liked the way it drove. I like it’s price and I particularly like the fact it’s all British.

So there you are. The first MG for 20 years that’s less embarrassing than having sex with a goat.

High praise indeed.
 

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the voice of reason!!!
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12,407 Posts
And from the man who tells it as he sees it, and doesn't mind upsetting the established view.
 
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Suprising isn't it that Clarkson rates the car! Wasn't long ago he loved the Z8, although as soon as *** fell out with Rover he cancelled his order! :D Shocked!

Anyhow, he likes the TF good man!
 

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Registered
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5,419 Posts
Good news indeed that the TF has praise from Herr Clarkson. The guy does have clout. Remember it was he who heeped much maligne on the Vectra, that the car bombed.

Jimbo
 

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True Brit
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1,048 Posts
He's constantly changing his mind, 1st he really praised the 820 and 827 coupe, within a year hated 800's, 2nd when he 1st saw the 75 he loved it "it's like sitting in a Rolls-Royce, this is the car of the show" then on the Clarkson show he and Brian Sewell? really attacked it. As I said before, he changes his mind more often than I change my pants.;)
 
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Robin

I cannot remember that, although from someone who likes extremly fast or large cars. He has owned - Escort Cossie - Volvo T5 - Jag and liking the TF is rather out of character for him!
 

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the voice of reason!!!
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12,407 Posts
I've always had time for the man, but this was stretched to the limit when I managed to blow up the microwave trying something I'd seen on his show (she was not amused)
 
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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Sounds intriguing. Hey, I was one of those Vectra owners whom he despised on his TV appraisal of the car! have to say the machine was OK (V6 SRi). But, it did break down once following a traffic jam on the M6 (outside lane) and then it cleas. Scarry, you are in the outside lane - all traffic moving except you, fortunately I got it restarted!
 

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True Brit
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1,048 Posts
:D , I like the 827's, but he started knocking them it rattled me a bit, also in his video where he raced a Cerbera against 5 other cars, most of which were far more expensive, but the Cerbera won quite easily, but said the moral victor was the Aston Martin Vantage which actually came in 4th, why bother with the race? if he wanted the Aston to win he shouldn't have raced it against cars that would beat it.
 
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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Fair point. Also in the early nineties it was very clear Jaguars XJ's could do no wrong. OK! they weren't ***'s. He is a little more pro-Brit than a few other Journos. However, I'm gob samcked how many are now giving MGR a fair write up - especially Autocar!
 

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True Brit
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1,048 Posts
Don't get me on Jaguars, I'm probably the only person on Earth who is unhappy about Ford owning them. I've had about 5 Jags, loved them all, but not happy with latest ones.
 
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